I talked to a friend. She’s married with 4 kids. She said even when her husband is being a complete dick and she wants to leave. She doesn’t have the strength. Emotionally or financially and no family to help. I don’t want to be that girl but I am. Constantly trying to make things better but they just don’t go the way I planned. I’m not happy and whether I stay in this or not. I never want to do it again. I thought love was all great. Disney really tricks you as a kid. You can be a princess almost get killed by a witch have evil step mother and sisters live in poverty and you always end up happy and living with Prince Charming in the end. BULLSHIT!! Life is not a movie obviously and there’s always a downside to life. You might get a great career and guy but then he cheats on you or beats you. You might get a slightly less motivated guy that doesn’t cheat or beats you but never wants to do better. Either way you always get fucked in the end. At least that’s always my outcome. All good things come to an end. I just know now not to expect anything from life but what I get. Relationships are just not for me. So I either try and take what I get or nothing at all. I’m never alone because of my kids. But as far a love and emotion goes I’m fucked.