Breastfeeding Shame


Ok so you know how in the magazines they have the beautiful pictures of the mother calmly and lovingly looking down at their baby while breastfeeding? They have a smile on thier face and they seem to be effortlessly feeding and bonding with the infant. Well let me just say that if breastfeeding was that easy everyone would do it.

But it’s not. It’s hard. It gets easier and yes it’s natural and your body knows what to do but it’s not just something you wake up and know what to do. Even if you’ve had more than one child it can be harder with one child then it was with the other. I have friends who say they couldn’t breastfeed at all, while some say it was easy and others say they dried up within a short few months despite breastfeeding exclusively the whole time. The issue I have with some is that they try and shame other women or make them feel bad for not being able to breastfeed of having to supplement with formula. As women and mothers we should applaud and encourage each other every step of the way. Motherhood is hard and not having support is harder.


Let me be the first to say I was one who thought well since it was easy the last time it will totally be easy this time. But um no honey I was wrong lol. With all 3 of my kids breastfeeding was different. My oldest daughter I could only breastfeed for 2 months, my son I breastfed and pumped exclusively with no issues what so ever for 8 months and with my youngest daughter it’s been a challenge every step of the way. I also feel like I had such a successful time breastfeeding with my son because I had so much help and the hospital I had him in was amazing. Whereas it seems I tend to have my daughters in hospitals that aren’t as helpful or attentive at all.

Breastfeeding for me has been rough the first 2 weeks being the worst. There was crying on many occasions from me. Sometimes while feeding her. I was extremely engorged for the first week and a half so much so that even pumping was excruciating and then by the time I worked through the pain and frustration of that my nipples were so sore and battered that it was still very sensitive and somewhat painful a time when breastfeeding.


Now 5 weeks later it’s so much better. The pain is gone for the most part and at times it’s just uncomfortable rather than painful. Pumping has been a challenge and since I’m going back to finish up my cosmetology license I have to pump for someone to feed her whole I’m gone. So I have had to supplement breast milk and formula but she’s transitioned well. I now breast and bottle feed her and she does well with both. When I am with her I rarely bottle feed so we still have that bonding time and so my milk supply stays consistent and continues to come in and when I’m gone I pump for her bottles.

I beat myself up for weeks and even cried because I had to supplement. Because some people and even a doctor told me not to. They made it seem as though I was feeding my child rat poisoning or something. I felt so bad and was made to believe she wouldn’t breastfeed or take my breast anymore because I was bottle feeding and because I was supplementing. Luckily I worked through that and she has proved that she will be fine and takes both breast and bottle very well.


Exclusively breastfeeding and not bottle or supplementing is great for a stay at home mom that doesn’t work or go to school and never goes anywhere without baby. But for moms who work, have school, run businesses, etc. sometimes you need to supplement or bottle feed. It’s life and baby won’t hate you for it or grow up not feeling loved as long as your loving on them and raising them right it will be fine. Your child won’t grow up to be a cereal killer because you didn’t exclusively breastfeed though that’s how some make it out to be lol. We should empower and encourage one another to do what we can as mothers. There is no wrong way to parent as long as the child grows up happy and healthy in my book. So this has been my breastfeeding journey so far.


How was your breastfeeding journey? Was it smooth sailing or did you have issues? Talk to you soon dolls.


Always Remember You’re Beautiful!


What’s in My Hospital Bag


Hi loves so here is what I will be taking to the hospital. I may have a few more items than needed but I like to be prepared, lol. I’m the just incase girl hahahaha. Anyway my hospital pretty much provides all that we will need while we are there so I just grabbed some things to make out stay more comfortable. Not sure how long we will be there because I usually deliver early so I packed enough to be sure this time.

I added a list of everything I packed below so you can get an idea of what to bring if you weren’t quite sure yourself. When you go on your hospital tour most of the time they will provide you with a list of what to bring and what not to bring.


Hospital Bag Check List



Birth Plan
Emergency Contact and insurance info

Large Items:


Kevin and I’s Bag:


2 nursing bras
A nursing gown
2 comfy tops
3 pairs of underwear for me
3 boxers for hubby
2 changes of clothes for each of us (our going home outfits included)
Comfy socks and slippers



Makeup bag
Bath sponges
Hair Brush
Hair ties
Body wash
Body spray
Nipple shields
6 Maxi pads


Small Snacks and cliff bars
Change for vending machines


Last Minute Items Not in bag:

Body pillow
Nursing pillow
Laptop and charger
iPad and charger
Phones and chargers
Camera and charger
Well ladies that’s it for this blog. I hope this was helpful for you and if I forgot anything or you questions please feel free to comment below.



Watch the Video Here


I wish you all safe, happy and healthy deliveries.

Always Remember a You’re Beautiful!


Pregnancy Vlog Weeks 30-32



Hi lovelies it’s been a crazy few months for us with getting everything ready for the baby. Of course everything has to go wrong all at the same time or one after the other. But anyway here is my pregnancy vlog video for those who aren’t subscribed to my youtube channel. Hope you loves enjoy and I will have a new post up shortly.


Pregnancy Vlog Weeks 30-32


Always Remember You’re Beautiful!



Miscarriage and TTC PT. 2


At our first exam when the doctor tried to use the Doppler to find the heartbeat he heard nothing. A few hmms and huhs later he said either your earlier than we thought or the baby has passed. A terrified feeling set over me that this was happening to us yet again. After we told family members and all. The doctor sent us to the hospital for an ultrasound after what felt like us telling him to do so. However that was an even bigger nightmare. We went in with hopes of getting better news or better explained information but instead we met two more medical professionals who seemed displeased with the career they chose. After the ultrasound and looking over everything. The ultrasound tech got up and walked out. We were sent to another room and a doctor came in and said we couldn’t find a heartbeat. We think the baby may not have survived. It’s measuring way to small for what we were told by your doctor so either he’s wrong or your baby is dead. Yes that’s exactly how he said it. Like he ran out of the last pair of sneakers on the shelf. We left the hospital filled with extreme emotion. Just a bundle of crazy feelings.

My fiancΓ© said no, no that’s not it. We are getting you another doctor. We deserve answers. Your not bleeding, your still slowly gaining weight and eating a lot more (He said sorry honey, but it’s true, lol) and nothing that happened last time is happening now. We will go somewhere else. So we did. I found a new doctor within a week. I got an appointment luckily about 2 weeks after the whole ordeal. Though that 2 weeks was torture we made it through. We went in and I told my new doctor everything. How my doctor and the hospital staff treated me and how they flat out said my baby was most likely dead. We did a vaginal ultrasound and it was determined I was only 8 weeks along by now. Which meant I was only about 4 or 5 weeks along when they were trying to use the Doppler and doing over the tummy ultrasounds just going on what my doctor had told them. That’s why we didn’t hear a heartbeat or see much movement, it wasn’t much to see or hear then. My doctor explained everything. We heard a heartbeat, got an actual due date, measurements, ultrasound pictures and had some tests run just to be sure and went home with peace of mind and comfort. Feeling blessed that our baby was still alive.

Later we found out we were having a boy and we were both so excited. The girls were excited to. All they really understood was I swallowed a baby brother and he would come out sometime soon lol. Their doll clothes were more than ready for dress up, though I had to tell them boys don’t wear dresses and lipstick lol. A lot happened throughout my pregnancy. We had a lot of stressors happen during this time that took a toll on me during my pregnancy. I went to the hospital I believe twice with contractions later in my pregnancy around the late 20s and early 30 weeks but to early for him to come out. I was monitored and sent home. But all in all our son was born August 13, 2004 he was premature like my daughter weighting 5 lbs 2oz born at 35 weeks gestation and I labored for 12 hours. After my son I was told this was a miracle and probably my last child. My body can’t carry kids past 35 weeks and I miscarry which isn’t good either. 4 years and another early miscarriage later I am 12 weeks and 4 days pregnant today.

My advice if your TTC or you feel like your doctors, or whomever just aren’t taking any time to really care for you and work with you I would change them immediately. Don’t stress it to much either. I tweaked my diet and health lifestyle some and we got pregnant. My pregnancies may be early and we may have angel babies along the way but we are blessed to have our babies. I wish you all much love and support in your journeys.

Always Remember You’re Beautiful!