Breastfeeding Shame

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Ok so you know how in the magazines they have the beautiful pictures of the mother calmly and lovingly looking down at their baby while breastfeeding? They have a smile on thier face and they seem to be effortlessly feeding and bonding with the infant. Well let me just say that if breastfeeding was that easy everyone would do it.

But it’s not. It’s hard. It gets easier and yes it’s natural and your body knows what to do but it’s not just something you wake up and know what to do. Even if you’ve had more than one child it can be harder with one child then it was with the other. I have friends who say they couldn’t breastfeed at all, while some say it was easy and others say they dried up within a short few months despite breastfeeding exclusively the whole time. The issue I have with some is that they try and shame other women or make them feel bad for not being able to breastfeed of having to supplement with formula. As women and mothers we should applaud and encourage each other every step of the way. Motherhood is hard and not having support is harder.

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Let me be the first to say I was one who thought well since it was easy the last time it will totally be easy this time. But um no honey I was wrong lol. With all 3 of my kids breastfeeding was different. My oldest daughter I could only breastfeed for 2 months, my son I breastfed and pumped exclusively with no issues what so ever for 8 months and with my youngest daughter it’s been a challenge every step of the way. I also feel like I had such a successful time breastfeeding with my son because I had so much help and the hospital I had him in was amazing. Whereas it seems I tend to have my daughters in hospitals that aren’t as helpful or attentive at all.

Breastfeeding for me has been rough the first 2 weeks being the worst. There was crying on many occasions from me. Sometimes while feeding her. I was extremely engorged for the first week and a half so much so that even pumping was excruciating and then by the time I worked through the pain and frustration of that my nipples were so sore and battered that it was still very sensitive and somewhat painful a time when breastfeeding.

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Now 5 weeks later it’s so much better. The pain is gone for the most part and at times it’s just uncomfortable rather than painful. Pumping has been a challenge and since I’m going back to finish up my cosmetology license I have to pump for someone to feed her whole I’m gone. So I have had to supplement breast milk and formula but she’s transitioned well. I now breast and bottle feed her and she does well with both. When I am with her I rarely bottle feed so we still have that bonding time and so my milk supply stays consistent and continues to come in and when I’m gone I pump for her bottles.

I beat myself up for weeks and even cried because I had to supplement. Because some people and even a doctor told me not to. They made it seem as though I was feeding my child rat poisoning or something. I felt so bad and was made to believe she wouldn’t breastfeed or take my breast anymore because I was bottle feeding and because I was supplementing. Luckily I worked through that and she has proved that she will be fine and takes both breast and bottle very well.

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Exclusively breastfeeding and not bottle or supplementing is great for a stay at home mom that doesn’t work or go to school and never goes anywhere without baby. But for moms who work, have school, run businesses, etc. sometimes you need to supplement or bottle feed. It’s life and baby won’t hate you for it or grow up not feeling loved as long as your loving on them and raising them right it will be fine. Your child won’t grow up to be a cereal killer because you didn’t exclusively breastfeed though that’s how some make it out to be lol. We should empower and encourage one another to do what we can as mothers. There is no wrong way to parent as long as the child grows up happy and healthy in my book. So this has been my breastfeeding journey so far.

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How was your breastfeeding journey? Was it smooth sailing or did you have issues? Talk to you soon dolls.

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Always Remember You’re Beautiful!

-Lola

Models, Boobies and Breastfeeding

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So there has been a lot of controversy with breastfeeding lately. In the past few years or so there was controversy with some retail stores that have told people they couldn’t do it in the store. Formula companies implied that formula was a better route. (Which seriously? What do you think healthy babies were drinking before formula? But ok.) It’s like breastfeeding is being made out to be a shameful and obscene thing to do. Almost like half naked women walking into children stores or some pervert exposing themselves in public. Really guys? We’re obscene now because we want to nourish and feed our child the natural way? Especially with models posting posed pics of themselves breastfeeding on social media.

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Photos courtesy of Pinterest.com

Giselle I commend. She’s not naked, her breasts aren’t exposed. She’s working and she’s lucky enough to be able to work and breastfeed instead of pump and how many of us moms would love to be able to empty our engorged breasts the natural way rather than with a pump? She’s behind the scenes. I’m sure someone asked if they could take her picture and without a second thought she said yes. Because no one thought it was a horrible, indecent thing to be doing. Miranda is naturally feeding her baby in bed. Normal stuff.

Now I have breastfed both my children and I plan to give the breast to the new baby coming. My daughter was my first and she was really hard. I had a really hard time with the breast with her because she was bottle fed when born due to being premature and in the hospital and being in the NICU. (I partly feel the premature status was ignorance on the nurse and doctor being impatient but whatever) I was young, scared and inexperience and had people pushing me to just give her the bottle and not even try breastfeeding. So that was short lived. I didn’t have as many resources and other moms on how great breastfeeding really was. With my son I was able to successfully exclusively breastfeed and then still pump for awhile when he started teething for almost a year. This baby I plan on exclusively breastfeeding for that long at least or longer if possible.

Yay for the boobies :0)
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Now I breastfeed in public. No I don’t whip my boob out for everyone to see or stand with my shades on fondling myself with milk spraying everywhere (I produce A LOT of milk lol) and just start feeding. I get myself and baby situated and comfortable put my nursing cover on and let baby go to town. I mean it’s common courtesy. No need for any thing outrageous if I don’t have my blanket then I use a burp cloth or just make sure baby’s on the boob and my shirt is down enough to cover. I mean kids are in public also and there’s no need to force parents to have certain talks with their kids early lol.

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Photo courtesy of moms.popsugar.com

So what I have a problem with as far as public breastfeeding is that people that don’t understand breastfeeding, don’t have children, don’t care, like to complain or whatever find it even more disturbing when they feel girls are making it out to be a stunt for internet popularity or Instagram likes.

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Really? Um a little to, uh natural for me.

Posing while breastfeeding unless in a magazine or otherwise just feels like to much. Whether the person meant it to come off that way or not there’s just something about a mother posing for a picture standing in a dress with shades on and holding baby just in front of the boob.

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Photos courtesy of theybm.com, clutchmagonline.com and Instagram

Because whether it’s posed or behind the scenes mom has to have someone take the pic. So did you rush to get semi comfy for your stand up and pose breastfeeding moment? Because I think breastfeeding would come across better to unknowing people and those not educated on breastfeeding if you were idk sitting down and focusing on baby. Because that’s part of the purpose of breastfeeding right? Health benefits and bonding with baby. Not look at how beautiful I look while holding my child and breastfeeding.

I mean this is serious business. We’re trying to get people to be ok and not make a fuss about public breastfeeding but some people just make others points valid. But how can you look at this and think it’s obscene?

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I just felt like sharing my opinion (which I am entitled to) and venting a bit on the breastfeeding fiasco that has been going on lately. We as a proud breastfeeding mothers community need to take a stand with helping end breastfeeding shaming. But please ladies keep the posed, one foot out the door, shades on, standing photos to yourself. Because unless you are in your kitchen or doing something and you happen to have been breastfeeding please stop taking those posed pics. Breastfeeding is a bonding experience. Not a publicity stunt.

Always Remember You’re Beautiful!

-Lola